He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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