i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
