Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
