I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize