I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
