the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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