JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
