what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
