Don't you send me to vm
420 ftw
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
