so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
