Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize