Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
