dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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