How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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