the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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