She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
