...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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