the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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