Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
