My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
