you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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