OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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