wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
