pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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