I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
