i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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