my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just want nice things and good sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
