Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
