Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
it hurts more in the daytime
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
