Your face is a jimmy john
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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