I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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