i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
