She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
