TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We are all done wearing pants today
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
