who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
