my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
