Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize