This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
