Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
