my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
