i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
