She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
