I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do herpes really smell.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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