White coat. Heels.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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