Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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