I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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