I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
