this boner is exhausting
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
