I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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