Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
These tits shall not be calmed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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