There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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