After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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