dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is it penis luge time yet?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize