It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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