I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i've created a new STD.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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