my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
