but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
