If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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