shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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