**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
