she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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