someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
