She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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